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MONEY TRAP - 10 : Honoring Your Kids Costly Demands

    Mr. C.S. Sudheer | Thursday, June 30,2016, 07:20 PM
 

There is a famous saying “Your child will follow your example, not your advice”. Children today are very smart. They know what they want and how to get it. They have learnt the art of manipulation and yes…You’re the target….Your child asks, well demands a new toy car. Then it is new clothes…chocolates…play station…the list is endless. What happens if you don’t give him what he wants? He shouts…screams…cries…throws tantrums…tries to embarrass you in public. You’re harassed. Better to give him what he wants or your head will come apart.

But is giving in to your child’s demands a good idea? If you give him a toy car, he will soon want a toy plane…Then a play station… His wants keep growing and you keep satisfying them. He soon suffers from a disease called affluenza. What he sees, he wants. You are just a moneybag. For those who don’t know affluenza, it is a psychological condition, where young wealthy people suffer from a feeling of guilt, isolation and a lack of motivation. Want to learn the art of saving and investing? Just give us a missed call on 022 6181 6111 to explore our unique Free Advisory Service. IndianMoney.com is not a seller of any financial products. We only provide FREE financial advice / education to ensure that you are not mis-guided while buying any kind of financial products.

Learn to say No

The Kumar’s have a young son Rakesh, who is 7 years. Rakesh is very playful, just like other kids of his age. Once every 4 months, the Kumar’s take their son for a vacation, to a seaside resort in Goa. Rakesh loves playing water games, playing football with kids of his age, shooting balloons and sitting on the toy elephant at the resort. Rakesh simply loves his holiday. Being a single child, playing with other children meant a lot to Rakesh.

On returning from the vacation, Rakesh went back to school.  One Sunday, Rakesh was making a lot of fuss at home. He wanted mama and papa to take him to the gaming restaurant nearby, to enjoy the evening. The Kumar’s were firm. No means No. The Kumar’s explained to their young son that an evening of fun and frolic at this restaurant, cost a lot of money. The Kumar’s told their son, they were saving for the family trip at the resort in Goa, which Rakesh enjoyed so much. If they went to the gaming restaurant today, then no money would be left to spend at the resort in Goa, at the time of vacation.

Rakesh learnt that money is a finite resource, which gets over when spent. Rakesh also learnt that to have a good time, you need money. To have money…you must save money. Rakesh learnt that you have to say “No” to things you want now, so that you can enjoy better things in the future.

To earn money, you got to work

Your child is used to treating you as a moneybag. He feels you will always be around to take care of his needs. If he gets money so easily, why would he work when he grows up? The Rao’s have a young 8 year old daughter, Pooja. The Rao’s want to teach their daughter the value of money. If Pooja does household chores like sweeping her room, she gets a 2 rupee coin as her pay. If she sweeps the house, she gets a 5 rupee coin as her pay. Pooja collects these coins in a jar and treats herself to chocolates and even buys her own toys.

Pooja has learnt that to buy things she likes, she has to first earn money. To earn money, she has to work. Pooja has learnt that money which buys most of the things she wants and needs, comes only as a reward for work.

Be a good role model

You live the good life. You love shopping and splurge a lot of money, on fine clothing and designer bags. You then tell your 10 year old son….All my money is spent. How will I buy you that new car? Your 8 year old daughter is making a lot of fuss for that pink dress. You tell her…Don’t worry; tomorrow I will buy you the pink dress. You then enter a garment shop and buy yourself a nice fleece coat.

Your children do not believe what you say. They believe what they see. Your children believe that if you have the money to splurge on your needs, then you do have the money to indulge, their needs. They will never believe you when you say “I don’t have the money to buy that shirt or that toy car”.

Why do you honor your kid’s costly demands?

Your kid simply refuses to do his homework. He wants a play station. You ask him, “Son, why do you want a play station”. He replies “Because everyone else has it.” You feel guilty. You work long hours at office to give your son a better life”. You can give him everything…except time. What’s a play station? I earn so much. It costs just INR 15000…In my childhood; my parent’s could not afford to buy me anything I wanted. They always said “There’s no money”. The same thing should not happen to my child. You are afraid to tell your son “I won’t buy you that play station because you think he will feel, you don’t love him. It’s better to give him whatever he wants, so that he does not feel low in front of his friends. You suffer from affluenza. How will your son not suffer from affluenza? You can’t control your own spending. How can you stop yourself from honoring your kid’s costly demands?

Mr. C.S. Sudheer

Mr C.S.Sudheer is a management graduate. He started his career with ICICI Prudential Life Insurance and later on worked with Howden India. After his brief stint in Howden India, he moved on and incorporated Suvision Holdings Pvt Ltd which is the sole promoter of IndianMoney.com. He aims to build a nation that is financially literate with investment savvy citizens.

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